Twenty-eight

Almost any statement is permissible if you finish it with “just sayin’”.

Twenty-seven

Just because you don’t look me in the eye does not mean I haven’t noticed that you are ignoring the sign which says “15 items or less”.

Twenty-six

The silence shared between me and the guy in the adjacent urinal is not awkward. I wish he’d stop trying to break it.

Twenty-five

Oh yeah, well how do evolutionists explain smurfs then?

Twenty-four

When your parents ask you, “who do you think you’re talking to?”, be advised, that question has no correct answer.

Twenty-three

Survival guide advises that if you find yourself in front of a bear, do not run away. Really? What am I supposed to do then? Reason with it?

Twenty-two

How is it that geeks can master physics, know everything there is to know about comic book characters, solve differential equations in their heads, and be completely unable to learn the difference between “its” and “it’s”?